Sometimes closure looks differently than we imagine it. Sometimes we don't get all of the answer we're seeking. Sometimes it's not wrapped in a pretty bow with two people who amicably say "this is for the better.
Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don't stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just start!